5. The Bachelor

Name:  The Bachelor (Read the “Where It All Began” section below.  I will mention here that The Bachelor is not the groom for whom the bachelor party was thrown.  Also, if ever I refer to “The Bachelor” in quotation marks, I’m definitely referencing the reality television series that is responsible for more broken hearts than there were the day N*Sync broke up.)

Where It All Began:  My friend Hate’s boyfriend, The Starfish, went to a bachelor party and sent a blurry photo via text of one of the single guys asking for permission to pass out my phone number.  Within fifteen minutes, The Bachelor texted me and began a text marathon that lasted the duration of the three day bachelor party extravaganza.

The Date:  I have been sick off and on with every variety of cold and flu known to man.  For the past week, I’ve been “on” with sickness.  When The Bachelor asked me to dinner a few days ago, I was reluctant to agree.  How much fun is a meal shared with a diseased girl coughing in the bread basket?  But I’m in no position to refuse a first date.  So I covered my sickness with make-up and a smile and headed to the local neighborhood Chili’s.  Before you get all crazy and start judging the boy’s restaurant choice, just remember that I’m the same girl who was beyond excited to go to Del Taco with The Bear.

I arrived to Chili’s much more fashionably dressed than required for such an establishment; however given my previous first date attire, I figured I should make a more solid attempt at looking like I can afford shoes.  When I walked in, I was greeted with a hug and immediately noticed that The Bachelor definitely works out.  Swoon.  We chose to sit at the bar and spent two hours not drinking.  I just realized that I have not gone on a dry first date in many moons and here’s why: booze is the best social lubricant.  Unless the daters are already acquainted, it is very likely that there will be some level of awkwardness.  Alcohol helps bridge these gaps by allowing people the opportunity to relax.

Of all my dates thus far, this one was the least remarkable.  Here’s a synopsis: queso, water, giggling, stories about car accidents and work, soup, salad, fried cheese, NBA Finals on TV, he paid the bill.  I’m not complaining about The Bachelor and maybe it’s because I’ve been sick, but the date was just all right.  

Deal-makers:

·         Has a nice body

·         Has a job, a car, and a dog

·         Divulged bachelor party secrets

Deal-breakers:

·         I’m pretty sure he lives with his mom

·         Talks a lot about work

·         Is in love with his car, whose name is Veronica.  No, seriously, he told me any girl he dated would be number two after Veronica.

Would I Date Him Again?  Sure, why not?