1. R.J. Phelps

Name:  R.J. Phelps (R.J. because he looks like R.J. Berger of MTV’s “The Hard Times of R.J. Berger.”  Phelps because a friend thinks he looks like Michael Phelps of Olympic and bong scandal fame.  I don’t see the Phelps, but maybe my friend knows something I don’t… like what R.J. looks like in a Speedo.)

Where It All Began:  Skype

The Date: My friends and I Skype once a week.  It’s mostly an attempt at gossip and girl talk, but gets interrupted by a whole bunch of “your video is frozen” and “where did Snookie go?”  (Note:  I don’t actually have a friend named Snookie, but I’m protecting the innocent, remember?)  Anywho, R.J. showed up to Snookie’s house last night and sat in on our Skype session.  After establishing that he looked like a cross between a D-list celebrity and a 420 time gold medalist, I asked him out.  He told me he was leaving for a month-long European vacation and that Snookie was driving him to the airport first thing in the morning.  How am I supposed to go on fifty first dates if all the guys I meet skip the country?  So I proposed that we make this online encounter our first date.  And, a first date it was:  we asked all the requisite get-to-know-a-total-stranger questions, I cracked a few jokes, he made some awkward comments, and we each had a drink (his was Jameson out of a copper cup like he was on an 18^th century camping trip, mine was a bottle of Mike’s Hard Lemonade because I’m classy), at the end of the night, he announced he was tired, I gave him my address, and he promised to send a postcard.

Deal-makers:

·         Looks like a celeb

·         Drinks manly drinks

·         Surfs

·         Has a car

·         Is an architect

Deal-breakers:

·         Will be in Europe for the next month

·         Lives 400 miles away (but there’s Skype?)

·         Has a “vintage” Motorola Rzr

·         If we had children, they’d definitely have red curly hair